Jan. 11/99
I had a great session with my therapist today. I did alot of talking about how I was feeling and what has been going on with me, in the last little while, one of them being the CFS. I realized this morning, while talking with 2 of my children (the older ones), that I have CFS and it's time to look at it, and work with it, not against it. My kids were great, I explained to them that I had CFS and that mommy needed to sleep alot, cause
she was always tired. My oldest, Craig, said "I don't mind if you need to sleep alot". "But can we still go to the pet store"? I said "yes, we can". My daughter said "can we still go to the Husky" (it's a candy store), and I said "yes". I explained to them, that I have good and bad days, and so we could go to these places on the good days. It was time I was honest with them, and with myself about my CFS. They have always helped me thru everything, by not judging me, or making me feel bad and accepting me for who I am. By telling them about the CFS, just re-enforced this message to me, and has helped me to accept the CFS. I feel incontrol again about this, and I am going to take care of me, if that means sleeping all the time or resting or not doing active things, then that is what I will do. I am learning day by day to live with CFS, and believe me it's hard, but I know I will make it, I am a strong woman. One of the things I have learned in the past 4 years of my recovery, is that
I need to take care of me!!!!!!I had lost that piece of me, for
awhile, but I now have it back and I will continue to take care of me, and do what my body needs to do.
Feb. 1/99
I have done a lot of thinking about what I am going to write now, wondering if I should, but I realized that all of you need to know that having and eating disorder is a life long committment - which includes ME and that I am not perfect (of course I already know this). I have had a lot going on in my life the past 6-8 weeks and it's been very stressful. You all are aware of the CFS but I have also been going thru a difficult
time with my husband. My anorexia had come back, but I didn't know why until a couple of weeks ago. I also thought it was there to hurt me, and want me to go down that road again, but I was WRONG. My relationship with my anorexia has completely changed. My therapist had me do some writing, one side was "me" the other side was "anorexia". I asked it why it was back, that I was scarred, and didn't want to go
down that road again. It said to me, that, it was back not to hurt
me, but to help me, and the only way it knew how, was to pop
back into my life and be present. Which it did. I have lost a fair
amount of weight. It hasn't been intentional, believe me, but
eating was hard. I just had no appetite, part of that is cause I
am so tired, but the biggest part has been because of my
relationship with my husband. Once I figured out that, I was
immediately hungry and have been eating ever since. I am
trying very hard to gain the weight back that I lost. I really dont'
like being at this weight, doesn't feel like me and I was happy
at the weight I was before. As I said before, my relationship
has changed with my anorexia, and I realized again, that when
it comes back, it's to TELL me something, and that I need to
figure out what it is (with help of course) and that's what I did
this time. Anorexia doesn't feel like my enemy any more, but
like an ali. The reason I am telling you all this, is to let you
know, that even people who recover, struggle sometimes, and
it's OK. We are human beings, we are not perfect. I wouldn't
say I really had a relapse, cause I wasn't purposely trying to
loose weight and I told my doctor, my family, my friends, my
therapist. I didn't keep it a secret. But what I would say, is what
I have said before, recovery is a life long committment. I have
really learned about that this time. I will continue to recover, not giving up, knowing there could still be some ups and downs, but that I will deal with them, in a healthy way. I will get stronger as each day goes by, and enjoy my life!
April 8/99
I am going to share with all of you a piece I wrote about a wonderful woman who means alot to me. I wrote this back in Sept. but I am sharing it now.
September 16, 1998
Linda,
Someone asked me recently why Linda was so important to me. I started telling them all the reasons and realized I wanted to write them down, so every one could see what she has done for me. The first thing that comes to my mind is this: "you have given me life again". You
have shown me how to "trust" again. With people, relationships, and most importantly myself. Without you I would be lost and wouldn't be where I am today in my recovery from anorexia. You have encouraged me, loved me, helped me, supported me, listened to me, been frusterated with me, (which was good as it made me look at things closer) been committed to our relationship, haven't abandoned me
(this one means a lot to me cause that's all I felt I ever knew), and generally "been there for me". All of these have been through my "ups" and "downs", and believe me there has been a lot of them! For me, what really strikes me, is that when ever I was in a "bad time" you never gave up on me, you were always there no matter what. I believe that this is one of the pieces that has meant so much to me. "TRUST" in people. I
remember the first time we met. It was April 3, 1995, a Monday.
It was the first day I was starting the Discovery 4 program. I remember when I first saw you, as you were speaking (you were very clear on everything, no, if, ands, or buts) I thought to myself "you have met your match anorexia". And to this day, I was right! That first day in program was HELL. I didn't need to be there or that I really had a problem. But somehow, you managed to include me in things and made me feel welcome. Then there was the "water cooler" time, remember? It was the
second day of program, skinfold and weigh in day, yahoo!! I was already feeling lousy because of what day it was, and when my skin folds and weight were done that didn't help. I also found out later on, that my skinfolds were calculated wrong, so that meant mine were even lower than the original numbers from the morning. Its now after relaxation and this is what I wrote in my journal - At 3:00 I left in a hurry. Linda asked
if I was OK. I told her I was tired. I went to get some water to take my antibiotics, she asked me if I wanted to go to her office and talk. I said I have to go home. She asked if I would be all right. I said it doesn`t matter anyway, and I walked away and left. I just wanted to be out of there. I don't want to do this program anymore. I hate it!! Linda called me on Wednesday to see if I was OK and if I was coming on Thur. That call meant everything to me, as well as her coming to the water cooler. To me it meant she cared about me, that I was special and from
that moment on, I grabbed onto her. Linda could always get
me to talk in the program no matter how lousy I was feeling or
withdrawn. She has been the only one to "standup" and "challenge/fight" my anorexia. I remember the following Tuesday, April 11,1995. It's weigh in and skinfold day. I dropped in my skinfolds but gained 1 pound. I felt bad that I gained the 1 pound but good that my skinfolds dropped. However, in our "aftershock" group, Linda told me that I "could not" loose 2 weeks in a row or I would have to step out
for a week. As soon as she said that, everything changed for
me. I knew she meant it, and anorexia had better watch out!
Linda has always been strong with my anorexia (and still is, if
needed) and thru her strength and teaching, I have been able
to challenge and be strong with it myself. On the last day of
program, Linda gave me her card, it reads "Dear Kim, I will be
here as long as you need me to be. Courage!! Linda" (I still
carry this card with me at all times.) In my journal I wrote " I
didn't know what to feel. This time someone(Linda) said I
could call her whenever. I need her. I knew she meant it, that it
wasn't just something she said to make me feel better, a
promise that wouldn't be kept." Those words meant so much
to me. At that moment I felt that there are people in the world
who mean what they say. You just have to find the right one.
Linda, you have made me believe in myself and given me life,
for this I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are a
special woman, one I will never forget. Without you, I would
never have looked at myself or relationships in a different way.
You know, the black and white thinking. You have given me so
much in the past 3 years which has definitely made a difference in my life. You are my second mom, one who is a role model to me and whom I love very much. I am so happy that we got to meet and that you are in my life. Thank you for never giving up on me, for being patient with me (I'm sure there were times when you wanted to shake me), caring for
me, talking with me, for keeping your promise to help me journey through our relationship and understand it, and for listening to me. You are the best!!!!!!!
Love KIM
May 8/99
Seems like it has been a busy month for me. I have been working and spending time with the love of my life, TOM. I met him on the internet, thru a game I play called Acrophobia. In a room that is called Hot Tub2. Along with playing the game, you can chat and that's how we met. He asked where everyone was from and I told him, we continued to talk more and exchanged icq numbers. We haven't looked back since. He is
the most wonderful, caring, loving, romantic man I have ever met. At first I was scarred of it all. I didn't think I derseved to be loved, as it has been a long time since I felt loved. My relationship with my X husband had been over for a very long time, but I didn't realize that until this year. Meeting Tom, has been the best thing to happen to me in a very long time and I love him with all my heart!!! He makes me laugh, makes me
happy, holds me when I cry (especially, when I am having a bad day and feel "fat"), tells me he loves me all the time, he shares with me, makes me smile and treats me like a princess!!!!! Tom has given me something I never thought I would ever have again, LOVE!!! It feels good to be loved and to give love back, I finally believe I derserve that. Tom and I have been together just over a month now and we spend as much
time as we can. He means the world to me and I plan on spending the rest of my life with him. I LOVE YOU TOM, WITH ALL OF MY HEART, NOW AND FOREVER!!!! I want everyone to know how happy I am with Tom, and for all of you to know that you can be happy as well. That we all derserve happiness, don't give up, you can have it to. I have
had a couple of tough times in the past month being with Tom,
but he has never left me, but listened to me, held me, and been
there for me. He is VERY supportive with my eating disorder
and if I am having a hard time eating, he is right beside me
encouraging me, and helping me, and telling me how proud he
is of me and how hard he knows it is for me at that time. Everyone needs someone, and I now have Tom.
June 28, 1999
I would like to share with all of you, a piece I wrote for a newsletter, that my therapist puts out. The news letters are called "Soul Food" and along with facts about eating disorders, there is several personal stories from people with eating disorders.
June 14, 1999
Tom
I want to tell you about a wonderful man who is now in my life. But first, I need to back up a bit. I have been in recovery for anorexia now for 4 and half years. I have been doing very well, but the last 6 months or so have been hard for me. I began not wanting to eat again, having no appetite, and when that happens for me, it means a red flag is going up and something is bothering me. I realized in Jan. 99 that my relationship was over with my husband and so we both decided to separate. As
soon as I talked to my husband about that, I was hungry again and had my appetite back! I knew at that time, that my decision about separating was the right one, even though it was a difficult one, it was the right one. My anorexia did come back into my life for a while and it still does at times, especially when I am dealing with relationship stuff. Sometimes I can deal with it "OK" and sometimes the eating disorder behaviours are present, but I have learned to look at all of it and be where I need to be at that particular time. I began to put myself back on the right track and eat again, as I did loose weight. I have been working very hard to put it back on, you all know, that mechanical eating. I now have the support and love from a wonderful man named Tom.
Let me tell you how we met. It was off the internet. I play an on line game, and it was in one of the rooms called Hot Tub 2 where we first spoke, as you can chat while playing this game. We exchanged ICQ numbers and haven't looked back since. The first time we met in person, he surprised me, and showed up where I work. It was a "bad hair" day, and a "fat" day. When he introduced himself to me, I turned 50 shades of red!!! But I remember looking at him and saying to myself, "he is so
handsome", "I think I am going to like this guy". We chatted on
the phone that nite, and the following Thursday we went out for drinks. That was 3 months ago and we spend as much time together as possible. I wasn't looking for a relationship, it just happened and I am glad it did. Tom is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I have never felt this loved before or given this much love back. I finally realize I do deserved to be loved, that I am worthy of giving and accepting love and it's "OK" to feel this way and I now have that love
from a wonderful man. Tom takes such good care of me, and
is so supportive with my eating disorder. I never had that from
my X. When I tell Tom I am fat, he stops me and says "no your
not", what's going on for you, and we talk about it. Sometimes
I can figure it out right away and sometimes I can't. But he is
there holding me, letting me cry on his shoulder, and mostly
just being there for me! I am sure I am frustrating for him at
times, all he has to do is ask Lynn (my therapist) or Linda ( my
second mom, and a nurse at St. Pauls Eating Disorder Clinic)
about that frustration. But even through that frustration he is
still there for me. I am sitting here typing this and now crying
as I just made a connection for myself. I have abandonment
issues and Tom knows about these. It's a huge fear of mine
that he will leave us (meaning the 8 yr old little girl inside of me
that has been hurt really bad). When I re-read back to myself
about him still being there for me, I realized that HE is not
going to leave us! The little girl inside finally knows that he is
going to stay and not abandon us, and that he loves us very
much, and through thick and thin he will always be there for
us, what a wonderful feeling that is. Tom loves me for "me",
the new person I have grown into during my recovery, the
person I love. And that feels wonderful as well. I don't have to
pretend to be someone I am not, I am just "me". Tom, you
mean the world to me, and I Love You with all my heart!!!! I am
so thankful that I met you. You are my FIRE, my one DESIRE.
You have given and taught me so much since we have been
together, and I have allowed myself to be given this. Thank
you!!
I wanted to share with you the special man in my life and to let
everyone know that happiness is out there, and recovery is so
worth it. Don't give up!!! Keep fighting!!! Yes, recovery is very
difficult, but living with an eating disorder to me is more difficult. And even though I have been in recovery for 4 years, I still consider myself recovering, as I have ups and downs still. And this last couple of months showed me that. It's OK to have those ups and downs, that's how we learn and grow as people. Everyone in recovery has ups and downs, don't forget that!! We all deserve a happy, healthy, eating disorder free life!!
Believe in yourself, I believe in me!!
I had a great session with my therapist today. I did alot of talking about how I was feeling and what has been going on with me, in the last little while, one of them being the CFS. I realized this morning, while talking with 2 of my children (the older ones), that I have CFS and it's time to look at it, and work with it, not against it. My kids were great, I explained to them that I had CFS and that mommy needed to sleep alot, cause
she was always tired. My oldest, Craig, said "I don't mind if you need to sleep alot". "But can we still go to the pet store"? I said "yes, we can". My daughter said "can we still go to the Husky" (it's a candy store), and I said "yes". I explained to them, that I have good and bad days, and so we could go to these places on the good days. It was time I was honest with them, and with myself about my CFS. They have always helped me thru everything, by not judging me, or making me feel bad and accepting me for who I am. By telling them about the CFS, just re-enforced this message to me, and has helped me to accept the CFS. I feel incontrol again about this, and I am going to take care of me, if that means sleeping all the time or resting or not doing active things, then that is what I will do. I am learning day by day to live with CFS, and believe me it's hard, but I know I will make it, I am a strong woman. One of the things I have learned in the past 4 years of my recovery, is that
I need to take care of me!!!!!!I had lost that piece of me, for
awhile, but I now have it back and I will continue to take care of me, and do what my body needs to do.
Feb. 1/99
I have done a lot of thinking about what I am going to write now, wondering if I should, but I realized that all of you need to know that having and eating disorder is a life long committment - which includes ME and that I am not perfect (of course I already know this). I have had a lot going on in my life the past 6-8 weeks and it's been very stressful. You all are aware of the CFS but I have also been going thru a difficult
time with my husband. My anorexia had come back, but I didn't know why until a couple of weeks ago. I also thought it was there to hurt me, and want me to go down that road again, but I was WRONG. My relationship with my anorexia has completely changed. My therapist had me do some writing, one side was "me" the other side was "anorexia". I asked it why it was back, that I was scarred, and didn't want to go
down that road again. It said to me, that, it was back not to hurt
me, but to help me, and the only way it knew how, was to pop
back into my life and be present. Which it did. I have lost a fair
amount of weight. It hasn't been intentional, believe me, but
eating was hard. I just had no appetite, part of that is cause I
am so tired, but the biggest part has been because of my
relationship with my husband. Once I figured out that, I was
immediately hungry and have been eating ever since. I am
trying very hard to gain the weight back that I lost. I really dont'
like being at this weight, doesn't feel like me and I was happy
at the weight I was before. As I said before, my relationship
has changed with my anorexia, and I realized again, that when
it comes back, it's to TELL me something, and that I need to
figure out what it is (with help of course) and that's what I did
this time. Anorexia doesn't feel like my enemy any more, but
like an ali. The reason I am telling you all this, is to let you
know, that even people who recover, struggle sometimes, and
it's OK. We are human beings, we are not perfect. I wouldn't
say I really had a relapse, cause I wasn't purposely trying to
loose weight and I told my doctor, my family, my friends, my
therapist. I didn't keep it a secret. But what I would say, is what
I have said before, recovery is a life long committment. I have
really learned about that this time. I will continue to recover, not giving up, knowing there could still be some ups and downs, but that I will deal with them, in a healthy way. I will get stronger as each day goes by, and enjoy my life!
April 8/99
I am going to share with all of you a piece I wrote about a wonderful woman who means alot to me. I wrote this back in Sept. but I am sharing it now.
September 16, 1998
Linda,
Someone asked me recently why Linda was so important to me. I started telling them all the reasons and realized I wanted to write them down, so every one could see what she has done for me. The first thing that comes to my mind is this: "you have given me life again". You
have shown me how to "trust" again. With people, relationships, and most importantly myself. Without you I would be lost and wouldn't be where I am today in my recovery from anorexia. You have encouraged me, loved me, helped me, supported me, listened to me, been frusterated with me, (which was good as it made me look at things closer) been committed to our relationship, haven't abandoned me
(this one means a lot to me cause that's all I felt I ever knew), and generally "been there for me". All of these have been through my "ups" and "downs", and believe me there has been a lot of them! For me, what really strikes me, is that when ever I was in a "bad time" you never gave up on me, you were always there no matter what. I believe that this is one of the pieces that has meant so much to me. "TRUST" in people. I
remember the first time we met. It was April 3, 1995, a Monday.
It was the first day I was starting the Discovery 4 program. I remember when I first saw you, as you were speaking (you were very clear on everything, no, if, ands, or buts) I thought to myself "you have met your match anorexia". And to this day, I was right! That first day in program was HELL. I didn't need to be there or that I really had a problem. But somehow, you managed to include me in things and made me feel welcome. Then there was the "water cooler" time, remember? It was the
second day of program, skinfold and weigh in day, yahoo!! I was already feeling lousy because of what day it was, and when my skin folds and weight were done that didn't help. I also found out later on, that my skinfolds were calculated wrong, so that meant mine were even lower than the original numbers from the morning. Its now after relaxation and this is what I wrote in my journal - At 3:00 I left in a hurry. Linda asked
if I was OK. I told her I was tired. I went to get some water to take my antibiotics, she asked me if I wanted to go to her office and talk. I said I have to go home. She asked if I would be all right. I said it doesn`t matter anyway, and I walked away and left. I just wanted to be out of there. I don't want to do this program anymore. I hate it!! Linda called me on Wednesday to see if I was OK and if I was coming on Thur. That call meant everything to me, as well as her coming to the water cooler. To me it meant she cared about me, that I was special and from
that moment on, I grabbed onto her. Linda could always get
me to talk in the program no matter how lousy I was feeling or
withdrawn. She has been the only one to "standup" and "challenge/fight" my anorexia. I remember the following Tuesday, April 11,1995. It's weigh in and skinfold day. I dropped in my skinfolds but gained 1 pound. I felt bad that I gained the 1 pound but good that my skinfolds dropped. However, in our "aftershock" group, Linda told me that I "could not" loose 2 weeks in a row or I would have to step out
for a week. As soon as she said that, everything changed for
me. I knew she meant it, and anorexia had better watch out!
Linda has always been strong with my anorexia (and still is, if
needed) and thru her strength and teaching, I have been able
to challenge and be strong with it myself. On the last day of
program, Linda gave me her card, it reads "Dear Kim, I will be
here as long as you need me to be. Courage!! Linda" (I still
carry this card with me at all times.) In my journal I wrote " I
didn't know what to feel. This time someone(Linda) said I
could call her whenever. I need her. I knew she meant it, that it
wasn't just something she said to make me feel better, a
promise that wouldn't be kept." Those words meant so much
to me. At that moment I felt that there are people in the world
who mean what they say. You just have to find the right one.
Linda, you have made me believe in myself and given me life,
for this I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are a
special woman, one I will never forget. Without you, I would
never have looked at myself or relationships in a different way.
You know, the black and white thinking. You have given me so
much in the past 3 years which has definitely made a difference in my life. You are my second mom, one who is a role model to me and whom I love very much. I am so happy that we got to meet and that you are in my life. Thank you for never giving up on me, for being patient with me (I'm sure there were times when you wanted to shake me), caring for
me, talking with me, for keeping your promise to help me journey through our relationship and understand it, and for listening to me. You are the best!!!!!!!
Love KIM
May 8/99
Seems like it has been a busy month for me. I have been working and spending time with the love of my life, TOM. I met him on the internet, thru a game I play called Acrophobia. In a room that is called Hot Tub2. Along with playing the game, you can chat and that's how we met. He asked where everyone was from and I told him, we continued to talk more and exchanged icq numbers. We haven't looked back since. He is
the most wonderful, caring, loving, romantic man I have ever met. At first I was scarred of it all. I didn't think I derseved to be loved, as it has been a long time since I felt loved. My relationship with my X husband had been over for a very long time, but I didn't realize that until this year. Meeting Tom, has been the best thing to happen to me in a very long time and I love him with all my heart!!! He makes me laugh, makes me
happy, holds me when I cry (especially, when I am having a bad day and feel "fat"), tells me he loves me all the time, he shares with me, makes me smile and treats me like a princess!!!!! Tom has given me something I never thought I would ever have again, LOVE!!! It feels good to be loved and to give love back, I finally believe I derserve that. Tom and I have been together just over a month now and we spend as much
time as we can. He means the world to me and I plan on spending the rest of my life with him. I LOVE YOU TOM, WITH ALL OF MY HEART, NOW AND FOREVER!!!! I want everyone to know how happy I am with Tom, and for all of you to know that you can be happy as well. That we all derserve happiness, don't give up, you can have it to. I have
had a couple of tough times in the past month being with Tom,
but he has never left me, but listened to me, held me, and been
there for me. He is VERY supportive with my eating disorder
and if I am having a hard time eating, he is right beside me
encouraging me, and helping me, and telling me how proud he
is of me and how hard he knows it is for me at that time. Everyone needs someone, and I now have Tom.
June 28, 1999
I would like to share with all of you, a piece I wrote for a newsletter, that my therapist puts out. The news letters are called "Soul Food" and along with facts about eating disorders, there is several personal stories from people with eating disorders.
June 14, 1999
Tom
I want to tell you about a wonderful man who is now in my life. But first, I need to back up a bit. I have been in recovery for anorexia now for 4 and half years. I have been doing very well, but the last 6 months or so have been hard for me. I began not wanting to eat again, having no appetite, and when that happens for me, it means a red flag is going up and something is bothering me. I realized in Jan. 99 that my relationship was over with my husband and so we both decided to separate. As
soon as I talked to my husband about that, I was hungry again and had my appetite back! I knew at that time, that my decision about separating was the right one, even though it was a difficult one, it was the right one. My anorexia did come back into my life for a while and it still does at times, especially when I am dealing with relationship stuff. Sometimes I can deal with it "OK" and sometimes the eating disorder behaviours are present, but I have learned to look at all of it and be where I need to be at that particular time. I began to put myself back on the right track and eat again, as I did loose weight. I have been working very hard to put it back on, you all know, that mechanical eating. I now have the support and love from a wonderful man named Tom.
Let me tell you how we met. It was off the internet. I play an on line game, and it was in one of the rooms called Hot Tub 2 where we first spoke, as you can chat while playing this game. We exchanged ICQ numbers and haven't looked back since. The first time we met in person, he surprised me, and showed up where I work. It was a "bad hair" day, and a "fat" day. When he introduced himself to me, I turned 50 shades of red!!! But I remember looking at him and saying to myself, "he is so
handsome", "I think I am going to like this guy". We chatted on
the phone that nite, and the following Thursday we went out for drinks. That was 3 months ago and we spend as much time together as possible. I wasn't looking for a relationship, it just happened and I am glad it did. Tom is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I have never felt this loved before or given this much love back. I finally realize I do deserved to be loved, that I am worthy of giving and accepting love and it's "OK" to feel this way and I now have that love
from a wonderful man. Tom takes such good care of me, and
is so supportive with my eating disorder. I never had that from
my X. When I tell Tom I am fat, he stops me and says "no your
not", what's going on for you, and we talk about it. Sometimes
I can figure it out right away and sometimes I can't. But he is
there holding me, letting me cry on his shoulder, and mostly
just being there for me! I am sure I am frustrating for him at
times, all he has to do is ask Lynn (my therapist) or Linda ( my
second mom, and a nurse at St. Pauls Eating Disorder Clinic)
about that frustration. But even through that frustration he is
still there for me. I am sitting here typing this and now crying
as I just made a connection for myself. I have abandonment
issues and Tom knows about these. It's a huge fear of mine
that he will leave us (meaning the 8 yr old little girl inside of me
that has been hurt really bad). When I re-read back to myself
about him still being there for me, I realized that HE is not
going to leave us! The little girl inside finally knows that he is
going to stay and not abandon us, and that he loves us very
much, and through thick and thin he will always be there for
us, what a wonderful feeling that is. Tom loves me for "me",
the new person I have grown into during my recovery, the
person I love. And that feels wonderful as well. I don't have to
pretend to be someone I am not, I am just "me". Tom, you
mean the world to me, and I Love You with all my heart!!!! I am
so thankful that I met you. You are my FIRE, my one DESIRE.
You have given and taught me so much since we have been
together, and I have allowed myself to be given this. Thank
you!!
I wanted to share with you the special man in my life and to let
everyone know that happiness is out there, and recovery is so
worth it. Don't give up!!! Keep fighting!!! Yes, recovery is very
difficult, but living with an eating disorder to me is more difficult. And even though I have been in recovery for 4 years, I still consider myself recovering, as I have ups and downs still. And this last couple of months showed me that. It's OK to have those ups and downs, that's how we learn and grow as people. Everyone in recovery has ups and downs, don't forget that!! We all deserve a happy, healthy, eating disorder free life!!
Believe in yourself, I believe in me!!
©KimRatcliffe